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WHY WON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING


I wish to listen
be still, reflect, look
before I leap


YOU'RE NOT LISTENING AT ALL


in deep waters
I hear your voice but
I hear the undercurrent also


THIS IS STUPID. YOU'RE STUPID.


taunting me
you will never see me surface
I'm afraid

This is meant to be haiku-like, but... not initially with that intention. The BIG TEXT came first because I was venting, and then I started filling in the 'undertext' in free verse, then they turned into standalone haiku like because that's how I normally roll, and somehow they ended up being linked, both to each other and the BIG TEXT. 

Feedback questions:
Conflicting focuses/voices: do you get that feeling? Is it good or bad for the poem?
Font formatting: Not enough? Too much? Just right? Cliche/hackneyed? 

Edits: 
I rewrote the first line of the last stanza. It just sounded so childish and lacked poetic quality and 'punch'
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Professional Writer

Hello! :wave: Your haiku has been featured on Multhaiku's Twitter page at @GenreHaiku! Please follow us for more great haiku and micropoetry! :iconheartblueplz:

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Submitted on
February 3, 2015
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